Interviews
Written Interviews
Ray, 52, attorney
Q: what's something you believed was out of reach when you were younger? A: Honestly? I wanted to be a musician. That was the actual dream, not law. I played in bands all through college, I was decent, not great, and somewhere in there I decided decent wasn't going to pay rent, so I filed music under "not for me" and went to law school.
Q: what happened to that belief? A: I got good at law and stopped playing entirely for about fifteen years. Then a friend dragged me to an open mic. I was terrible and I loved it anyway. I play out a couple times a month now. Music was never actually out of reach. I just decided it was all or nothing, and when I couldn't be a star I quit the whole thing.
Q: looking back, was the limit real, or were you just told it was? A: Real in one narrow way and invented in a bigger one. Making a living at it is genuinely hard, I wasn't wrong about that. But the idea that if I couldn't go pro I couldn't play at all, that I made up, and then believed for half my life.
Rosa, 74
Q: what's something you believed was out of reach when you were younger? A: A singer. My mother said singing was for church, not for a living. So I let it go.
Q: and then? A: Raised five kids instead, no regrets. But my granddaughter sings now, and when she does, I feel like I get a little of it back.
Q: looking back, was the limit real, or were you just told it was? A: Real for me, in my time. Not real for her. That's how it should be!
anonymous, professor, 60s
Q: what's something you believed was out of reach when you were younger? A: Oh, this is a hard one, because I'm not sure I ever put it to myself in those words. If I'm honest, the thing I quietly assumed was impossible was a lasting career in my field, as a woman. When I started, the expectation, spoken and unspoken, was that I'd teach a few years and then marry and vanish. I half believed it myself.
Q: what happened to that belief? A: I stayed. I'm tempted to say I "broke through," but that's far too heroic. Mostly I was stubborn, a few people held doors open, and the field changed slowly around me. I want to be careful not to pretend it was all willpower on my part. Timing and luck did a great deal of the work.
Q: looking back, was the limit real, or were you just told it was? A: Both, and I think pretending otherwise does young people a disservice. The barriers were quite real and I won't romanticize that. But the belief that I personally couldn't, as opposed to that it would be harder, that was handed to me, and I carried it far longer than I needed to.
Nadia, librarian
Q: what's something you believed was out of reach when you were younger? A: That I could ever be the kind of person who speaks up in a room. I was painfully shy. I thought certain lives were just closed to quiet people, and that I'd always be standing off to the side of my own.
Q: what happened to that belief? A: I became a librarian, which everyone assumes is a job for quiet people, and it is, sort of. But I run programs now. I speak in front of groups every week. I testified at city council about our budget last spring. The shyness never went away. It just turned out not to be the wall I thought it was.
Q: looking back, was the limit real, or were you just told it was? A: Told, mostly. Somewhere I picked up that shy meant incapable, and those are not the same thing. I meet shy kids at the library now and I want to tell them that so badly.
Jess, 20
Q: what's something you believed was out of reach when you were younger? A: That I had to pick a major that made money, or I’d ruin my life. Like I genuinely thought choosing wrong at 18 was game over
Q: what happened to that belief? A: Idk it’s honestly still unfolding? I switched majors twice, everyone acted like the sky was falling, and then... nothing bad happened. i’m fine. Half the people who "picked right" at 18 are miserable anyway. I think I just believed the pressure bc everyone around me did
Q: looking back, was the limit real, or were you just told it was? A: Told for sure. The whole "one choice decides your whole life" thing falls apart the second you look at actual adults who changed careers like four times. Nobody mentions that part when ur 18
Big Mike, 47, hvac tech
Q: what's something you believed was out of reach when you were younger? A: College. Simple as that. Nobody in my family went, so I figured that door was just shut for people like us.
Q: what happened to that belief? A: Never went. Do I regret it, not really. Good money, own boss. My kid's in college now though so I guess it wasn’t shut, just took a generation. Fine by me.
Q: looking back, was the limit real, or were you just told it was? A: bit of both.
Tom, 68, retired mail carrier
Q: what's something you believed was out of reach when you were younger? A: Travel. Seeing places. Growing up there was no money for it and I just accepted early that it wasn't for me. Put my head down and worked.
Q: what happened to that belief? A: Didn't really travel til I retired. My wife and I have seen a fair bit these last few years. Wish we'd started sooner but you don't get that back. It wasn't that we couldn't, we just always figured it was for later. Later took a long time to show up.
Q: looking back, was the limit real, or were you just told it was? A: Real when I was young. We truly didn't have it. But I held onto the belief long after the money changed. That part's on me, I suppose. Just never updated it.
Allison, 25
Q: what's something you believed was out of reach when you were younger? A: honestly, that I had to move to a big city to have an interesting life. I grew up somewhere small, and everything cool seemed to be happening elsewhere, as online everyone interesting lived in New York or LA
Q: what happened to that belief? A: I moved to a city for like a year and a half, and it was fine, but I was kinda lonely and broke the whole time lol. Moved back, started doing actual community stuff in my own town, and my life got way MORE interesting, not less.
Q: looking back, was the limit real, or were you just told it was? A: told. Or maybe just absorbed? But I know I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s!
Coach Dave, 50s, baseball coach
Q: what's something you believed was out of reach when you were younger? A: The majors. Bad. Thought it was a sure thing right up until college, where every guy there was the best on his old team too.
Q: what happened to that belief? A: Didn't make it. Fell into coaching almost by accident and love it more than I ever loved playing. Found the real thing. Just wasn't the one I'd pictured.
Q: looking back, was the limit real, or were you just told it was? A: Both. Going pro is a real long shot, I won't lie to kids about that. But thinking I had nothing left to give the game? That was a story I told myself.
anonymous, judge
Q: growing up, what did you think you'd never get to do? A: I didn't think someone from where I'm from ended up on the bench. Lawyer, maybe. Judge, no.
Q: how'd that turn out? A: Kept saying yes to things. One seat led to another. Not really a big moment, I just never stopped.
Q: was it ever actually true? A: The barriers were real and something I had to deal with but the belief that it wasn't for me was not. I accepted that one for years, which is my biggest regret.